It's been a really phenomenal day, even though I was called to make a decision that scared me for a bit. It truly asked me to rely on my instincts, but everything in me wanted to make the "not wise" decision. I think the only reason I went against want I wanted to do was because of all the travel trouble I had the last couple of days. If it weren't for that, I could be in a very compromised position right now. Apparently, there have been Guatemalan hijackings on little road outside of Benque on the border, the one I needed to travel down to go to a sculpture garden that is relatively new and sounds incredibly fascinated, comprised of all Belize artists, on a walking trail that takes 3 hours to complete. I was so there. Until, Hiram at Martha's mentioned that the activity on that road recently was not good: it didn't phase me at first, set off for the border on a local bus, hired a taxi to take me there. After getting in the driver says to me, "I will take you there if you want to go, but it's not safe right now. There was a tourist hijacking last week at gunpoint." I still wasn't quite phased (I don't know why) until he mentioned that I could be raped, and he made it quite clear (without directly saying it) that he would not be able to assist me. Then, it struck me: I needed to yield to this travel karma, and not push through to achieve my goal. This is a hard lesson for me when there's something I want to accomplish. I had him take me back down the road to San Jose Succotz, where the Mayan site Xunantunich resides. I hadn't planned to go there until tomorrow, but...
Rosario Panti was there. This is the woman that I've been hoping to reconnect with. For those of you who are unaware, she is the granddaughter of Don Elijio Panti, Mopan Mayan shaman and healer. What a blessing. We embraced. She was on the hand-cranked bridge that shepherds visitors over the Macal river to the base of the ruin site, and she agreed to travel with me up to the site and spend a few hours.
Which became 4. I told her about my project, and she told me about her new farm in Orange Walk (north of the capital), which she will inhabit to cultivate the herbs she needs to heal and teach others about. She wants to start taking in school groups to support her plans, and since Knox already has a marine biological unit, I let her know that I would inquire with those in botany if such a study-abroad program might be of interest to them.
She was very generous today with her time, and her stories, experiences. I am realizing in talking to her that her spiritual work stems more from the harvesting, preparation, administration of and education about "rainforest remedies," but she still had much to offer relative to embodiment practices, and I recorded her speaking, me asking questions, both of us in conversation, for an hour and a half. I got a lot of testimonial and information that I will have to spend much time excavating, but it's really exciting to me how this is genuinely off to a strong start.
In practice, the main things she emphasized for the work of inhabitation were : 1) balance between good and negative forces and in one's domestic and spiritual lives 2) testing - we had good laughs over my last few days and traded stories about this unique journey of needing to ask permission before entering a state of vulnerability to forces that are greater than you 3) unity: that this was the ultimate goal of a healer's work...bringing people together, creating and strengthening community, teaching others to teach themselves and finally 4) replenishment. I told her about my blog, how I titled it "soul replenishment". She said, "Are you tired of practicing your art or your teaching?" I admitted, I get tired, I get exhausted, there must be a better way. And she said, yes, there is, but it requires discipline to heal yourself. Just like anyone else. You must allow yourself to renew, because then you are no good to yourself or others.
Well, I know this. But, do I do it? No, I don't. Do I want to yes? Must I? Yes. I think it's a matter of acknowledging that it's a spiritual duty that I must.
Rosario and I will meet again on Saturday. Tomorrow I head to San Antonio to consult with the Garcia sisters, Don Elijio's nieces. They may have second-hand stories about his practices, while Rosario certainly has her own. I just discovered another woman that I must see if I can get to on Friday. My fingers are crossed about that. It would be wonderful to have 3 separate sources.
It'll be a full moon soon, Friday I think. A good day to mediate on all this, Rosario tells me. She's encouraging me to replenish. To prompt myself to do it.
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